The Real Work of a Leader is Found in the Heart
Building Your Courage Muscle
Do a Google search for “History’s Most Courageous Women” and you’ll be met with the likes of Eleanor Roosevelt, Frida Kahlo, Rosa Parks, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Maya Angelou, Amelia Earhart and so many others who have often been dubbed as “fearless.” When we dig deeper into human psychology, we learn that there really is no such thing as a fearless person—because fear is baked into the map of our brain. So then, the attribute we can begin to investigate in these women is actually . . . courage.
Each day we are faced with a series of choices—many of which we make without even realizing it—and so much of our daily life, when we begin to pay quiet attention, is filled with fear-based decisions. But we are not simply drones at the mercy of our ancient brain: We can feel a greater connection with our truest self by bringing a mindful attention into our day-to-day living.
As I’ve been preparing notes for my She Leads keynote, “Showing Up as Your Brilliant, Authentic Self,” I’ve really been thinking about what this means—showing up authentically. And I think it really means showing up fully, letting your WHOLE SELF be seen. This, I think, is especially hard for women in leadership positions.
Contemporary sociologist and speaker Dr. Brene Brown has received global attention for her commitment to educating us on both the value and strength of vulnerability in leadership. In her book, “The Power of Vulnerability,” she writes: “We associate vulnerability with emotions we want to avoid such as fear, shame, and uncertainty. Yet we too often lose sight of the fact that vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, belonging, creativity, authenticity, and love." Dr. Brown has devoted her life’s work to dispelling the misconception that vulnerability equals weakness, claiming that courage is the most precise measure of change.
Returning to the list of courageous women, we can consider that not only did they feel fear, but that there came a moment in each of their lives (likely many moments) when their need to express their ideas, concerns and emotions was so big, it won the fight against fear. Courage and fear entered the ring—and courage won.
I don’t think courage is a personality trait we are born with. I believe it is a skill—just like riding a bike, listening deeply, or playing the ukulele—that we can actively cultivate in ourselves. One way to do this is to do something every day that gives you a slight discomfort in your stomach. My business partner Kristi uses the language of “do it scared” (stay tuned for her upcoming blog post on this). For you, this might be picking up the phone to do a sales call. Or maybe it’s being outwardly curious with the cashier at the grocery store, or perhaps it is signing up for that tap dancing class you’ve been wanting to go for since you were in 2nd grade.
This weekend, I auditioned for the Duluth Playhouse’s “What She Said” New Play Festival. It included a memorized monologue of my choosing. I chose a comedic option—as a rookie adult actor, this is something I’ve never tried before. Leading up to my 4:00 pm audition slot, I was beside myself with anxiety. I had to run outside in 20-degree weather to get that dull, achy dread to go away long enough for me to get myself dressed for the audition. Was it hard? Yes. Without doubt! But the absolute joy in hearing the laughter of the directors and the sense of accomplishment that came because I simply WENT FOR IT—despite my body and brain telling me not to—cannot be reproduced by flipping through Netflix or scrolling through leadership reels on Instagram.
Whatever feels scary to you, I encourage you to lean into it. With each step of courage you take, your courage muscle will become stronger, and you will find yourself taking bigger risks and longer strides than ever before. Courage comes from a place deep within the heart—the landscape of which is vast and beautiful, and full of unexpected adventures.
I can’t wait to share more of my story at the She Leads Conference on April 4 and how you can claim your birthright of leading—and living—fully. Until then, keep that ember of a dream in your heart lit.
With Heart,
Katrina
p.s. As a reminder, you don’t need anyone’s permission to exercise your courage. But if you feel like you do, consider this your official permission slip.
p.p.s. I’ll leave you with words by spiritual teacher and author, Marianne Williamson.
Our Deepest Fear
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"
